I patted my back when I finished novel and looked at the time in my mobile phone. It read 6:15 am.Wow Dhiraj...I said to myself. "You've done a great job".

I started reading somewhere around 6:00 in the evening yesterday and finished it almost at after 12 hrs. This was the first time I sat so long for reading anything....and finished it so quickly. I've reached a personal milestone.

I texted my friends on my latest personal achievment as we've made a ritual of sharing these small moments with each other.

I have not read any novel since II yr of my college and this was the second one in the recent times since I started reading. Will go to the first one later.

Chetan is very young writer and like all other young writers he also has grabbed the young never well. His writing style though a little bollywood kind is very amusing. The humour is light and nice...it did manages to bring a lot of smiles on your face.

While reading it I somehow connected to the theme :) The description of Ananya....narrator's looser like attitude....felt like I was the narrator. Don't know what to write about it. It reminded me of Nona and me. The way story moves on was very sweet and somehow trapped me into it.
I wished I was Krish!!!! And I had someone who would love me like Ananya ...and I wish I would have to live with her in the same hostel...like them....Life would have been wonderful.

All my college life....I died to spend time with her. I wanted to hold her hand......wanted to move freely with her.....fine leave the part of sleeping with her that's not important.

I wanted to be with her so badly....but because some stupid quarrel between mine and her parents...everything was a disaster. Wish I had the courage to talk to her parents like Krish did ....wish we would have not act childish and not bowed to what our parents said to us. I wish....


These thoughts raced my mind as I conitnued reading glued as if was reading a suspense thriller. But I really wanted to know how this citibanker handled all the situations.

But this is a Novel right???? and like all fairy tale stories this also had to end happily ever after statement right!!!!

I've not been fortunate that much. :( when all the problems happened I didn't have a job...yes I had got selected in one company but that was not the guarantee considering the recession at that time. Why this all had to happen at the same time....my father's illness ....problems with Nona's family and the economic downturn.

But I know why did this happen.....It happened because of my stupid mouth....it happened because of me not thinking wisely and telling everything to my stupid bro...and my mom. Had I been quite in the first place and let the matters cool. Things would have been a little different today. Its all my fault!!!!! :x

But now what? I continued reading Annanya's arrival to Delhi part. everything was so sweet....it is always sweet when both the guy and girl love eachother deeeply and ready to stay together for life and fight together.

Everything sounded so familiar....I wondered every Indian family is same at the root level. Parents are always worried about their reputain in the clan and force the same worry on to their childern.

and in the end ...when everything seemed out of control.....there comes the saviour....Krish's father....even I didn't imagine it would turn out this way. I was in tears reading that father son reunioun. Wish someone like Krish's father had come to save my love too......but that would not happen.....because I myself had quit. I wanted my parents to be happy and her to be calm and happy too. And that could have only happen when I quit. Leave the first love of my life.

Like the writer I also have a failed first Love story. Again I connected myself to it. Is this possible. Can you fall in Love again....at this juncture of life.....can it be as pure as your first love....cute...sweet.....never to leave...Love!!!! I am a little pessimistic about it. These days girls which involve in any relationship are either looking for a husband or are enjoing with you....having fun.

The pure innocent...cute....unselfish.Love....can it happen again. I don't think so......and more strongly not with me ofcourse. I've had my chances with love....firstly it was all beautiful...sweet...Deepika....and then.....innocent...sweetest and loving Nona!!!!....I Lost all :(
Not anymore. God had bestowed me all the chances I deserved.....no Love for me on the cards.

I am done with my part of Love Life....its time to think for other important aspects of life.

This makes me feel more sad...and stop writing. After so many months I cried again last night...for Nona not being with me. for me failing to stand up to her.

Let it be.

No More on this. .....I am done. back to work now!!!!!

New Boy in The City

I never knew that a thing like this would happen to me but yes always wanted like this only. 'Mumbai: The city of dreams' ....I had only seen it in the movies and on the television. 5th April 2010 just after 2 days after my 23rd B'day....I set foot in the City of Dreams. One can call it whatever one wants....Destiny or Choice ...Iwas there in Mumbai for SYNTEL. Left my 2 jobs which were giving me a good satisfaction. But still I was missing something, something that was not there. I don't exactly know what was that but yeah it was not there.
I came here with many prejudices like everyone. Really this city has space for everyone, no matter which walk of life youbelong to....there's a place for you in Mumbai. This fast pacing city has lanes for everyone and this I got to know on the very first day of my joining the Company. After a long boring day I was in the company bus to home. Which obviously didn't know in which area exactly was. I called my friend and asked him to tell me a landmark nearby where I should get down from the bus. I had asked almost a dozen in the bust to tell me as soon as the bus reaches that place. But still I was a little worried about crossing the landmark without even knowing that. With that tension I was looking out of window and think what a bad day it was and a Hand came on to my shoulder I turned back and saw a smiling man asking me....."Sai Dham jana hai??" ...I said Yes....in a tense tone. And then he said "bataunga....Par Wada pav khilayega :) "......For a flash of second I was amazed with this friendliness....My eyes lit up and I was smiling with ease....and said..."Chalo ....why not sure!!!!"....
Seriously....what a nice way to end the day. It was like the whole city was their to recieve me....and tell me ....you'll be okay yaar don't worry. And from that day ...that tense expression is like vanished from my face.....everything seems pleasant, fun, and enjoyable. The traffic that everyone complains about is like an amusement...giving me time to feel this city. The jungle of skyscrapers is like the tropical forest giving me chance to explore it.
And that boring Office became a Playground. Where players from all around the country came to enjoy and learn together. We have Engineerscoming in from every direction Kolkata, Guahati, Bhubaneswar, Nagpur, Bhopal, Jodhpur, Mumbai, Dehradun, Mumbai and we make a great team.Everyone having their own unique characterstics.
There's so much about this city and people here that it can make me write for hours. But that can make this post very long. Will be movingmoving to Pune next week ...again I don't know its destiny or choice. A New City new prejudices and new chanllenges. Lets see, what is there for me.

In love With Life

This might seem strange but anyway its the truth. I am really in Love with Life. With time I have realized what a great boon for us it is that we are alive as human beings. How beautiful this life is. Simply amazing!!!! These days I like everything about it and to be very honest I am somewhat afraid of Death now. I feel very happy when get the Love of my parents ....when I am able to give respect back to them.....when I laugh with my friends.....when I get their Love and Care......when I have enemies to fight with them.....lessons to learn.....lessons to teach.....days to enjoy and have fun.....entertain others and getting entertained by others.....its so nice.....really!!!!
Its nice having a goal in mind...and then working for that goal. Achieving it and look for another one. I don't understand how this thing started and everytime like a normal curious human my mind also thinks that there must be someone who planned this. With my limited human imagination and boundaries made by science in my mind I keep wondering how come this wonderful thing in Universe called life came to existence.
I really want this to go on forever. I want to live forever!!!!! and enjoy this lovely cocktail of life. Today I understand why living this life is considered a blessing and ending it before time is considered a crime. If you are born this means you are blessed. Blessed to enjoy the moments given by god to you.
So why not live it to the fullest day by day....everyday. Why cry and waste the precious moments just because we did not get what we wanted. Lets be happy with what we have and constantly work for what we want....and never stop.

Ageless Beauty

It was really a heartwarming moment for me when I saw her walking on the floor above me. "She hasn't changed a bit", I told to myself....Yes now I was talking to myself.....sometimes some people make you forget whatever is going around you and she was doing same to me.

I couldn't stop staring at her....her pace of walking, her eyes, her voice, those days of childhood suddenly got life. Those days when I despite of being the most talkative guy in the class my tongue used to disappear in front of her.
I used to struggle to find words when in front her.

I know she must have forgotten me....it happens with people like her. Its been 7 yrs I guess....since I last saw her....how can I expect her to remember me. But you know what I can recognize her within the crowd of lakhs.

That innocent face that calm and quite voice....yet capable of leaving anyone speechless. Such was her persona....mesmerizing....and yes most of the time terrorizing...hehehe!!!!

But overall inspiring!!!!

"Lodha Mam" ageless beauty....her devotion, dedication and discipline has granted her immortality in a way. Her small footsteps never seem to halt moving....her body never seems to age and same goes with her attitude towards life. How many in C.A. truly understand her value? How many truly realize what it takes to be Lodha Mam....surely these answers are hard to find....but what is very easy to recognize is her charm....her charm of experience and dedication.....simply commendable.

Wish I could go even a mile close to her!!!!!

Hats off Mam!!!!!! May you live till eternity!!!!

Indian Carnivals

People chanting line after line.....atmosphere in that 20 X 20 room was kind of stuffy and in some way suffocating......but still I was not feeling uncomfortable......everyone had only one thing in mind.....same expression on their face.......!!!!!

Looking at all this......my mind was forced to make comparisons as it always does when it comes to describing my country and my people. I was standing in the Temple of one of the 36 crore Gods and Goddesses ...Rama Pir as the bhakts call him.

मौका था चेटी चंद का| हालाँकि यह पहली बार नहीं था की में ऐसा कोई समारोह देख रहा था पर इस बार मेरे मन् में बात आगई तो लिख रहा हूँ। अज लग रहा था की में भी सिन्धी कम्युनिटी को बिलोंग करता हूँ। :)) मैंने देखा है वहां पश्चिम में आपको किसी बड़ी भीड़ को एक साथ देखना है तो दो ही जगह देख सकते हैं किस रॉक कंसर्ट में या फ़िर किसी कार्निवल में। कार्निवल में अलग अलग तरह की झांकियां निकली जाती है....एक परेड होती है जिसमे लोग बाद चढ़ कर हिस्सा लेते हैं। बस ऐसा ही कुछ हो है चेटी चाँद के मेले में। हिन्दुओं के काफी सरे देवी देवताओं की वेश भूषा में लोगो को बैठा दिया जाता है किसी रथ या फ़िर उस जैसे ही चीज़ पर और जुलुस निकला जाता है। किसी कार्निवल की तरह ही लोग इसमे हिस्सा लेते हैं।
फर्क सिर्फ़ इतना होता है की वहां इस चीज़ का मकसद अपना मनोरंजन होता है और यहाँ हमारी भारत में इस चीज़ का मकसद हमारी आस्था से जुड़ा हुआ होता है। वहां पर धन और वैभव का प्रदर्शन होता है। और यहाँ भक्ति और विश्वास का |

जहाँ तक आस्था का प्रश्न उठता है भारत में यह अनंत मात्रा मिलती है। आस्था हमारे जीवन का एक अभिन्न अंग है। अगर आस्था को भारतियों से अलग कर दिया जाए शायद हमारा अस्तित्व नहीं रहेगा | आस्था हम भारतियों को एक साथ जोड़े रखती है | धर्म और आस्था एक ही सिक्के के दो पहलु हैं | किसी मन्दिर में खड़े श्रधालुओं को देखेंगे तो पाएंगे की कितनी एकता है इनमे | श्रद्धा और भक्ति ही है जो हर इंसान में एक जैसे होती है |

जब में उस मन्दिर में यह सब सोच रहा था तो उस समय आरती चल रही थी भगवन रामा पीर की | हर कोई मग्न होकर आरती गा रहा था | सभी लोग शान्ति और धैर्य से भगवान की भक्ति कर रहे थे | सभी के चेहरों पर शान्ति के भाव थे | मैंने सोचा की यह आस्था भी कितनी अची चीज़ होती है | यह हमें अनुशासन सिखाती , हमें विश्वास और शान्ति देती है | तभी तो गहरे से गहरा दर्द भी भगवान् के मन्दिर में आकार दूर आजायेगा इसका हौसला मिलता है | कोई नौकरी मांगने अता है तो कोई इम्तिहान में अच्छे नम्बर | किसी को घर की चिंता सता रही होती है किसी को कोई बीमारी | हम सब किसी न किसी मांग को लेकर ही भगवान् के पास जाते हैं |

आरती ख़तम होते ही हम लड़को को बाहर भक्तों के लिए प्रसाद जो बनाया गया था उसे बांटना शुरू करना था | उस समय ऐसा लगा की सब में जैसे एक अलग ही फुर्ती और जोश आ गया हो!!!! सबके हाथ मशीन की तरह चलने लग गए | हर एक को प्रसाद देने की जैसे कोई रेस ही शुरू हो गई थी | फ़िर प्रसाद देते समय "जय बाबा री " का उच्चारण | ऐसा लग रहा था की बस सारी की सारी भक्ति और नम्रता यहीं आकार बस गई है इन सब में और यही सब जोश को और दुगना कर रहा था | झांकियां आना शुरू हुई तो माहौल जैसे उबल उठा | " जय बाबा री " " जय बाबा री " से तो पुरी सड़क गूँज उठी | हाथों की गति और भी बढ़ गई |

आस्था ......एक अलग ही मुकाम तक ले जाती है हमारी क्षमताओं को | परन्तु इसका एक और चेहरा भी देखा आज मैंने | वोह चेहरा जिसे विज्ञानं मानने को तैयार नही है और हम भूलने को तैयार नहीं हैं | मम्मी ने मुझे फटाफट कम के बीच में से निकाला और कहा जल्दी अन्दर मन्दिर में चल बाबा आए हुए हैं , तू भी आशीर्वाद लेले | मैं अन्दर गया तो देखा एक महिला रामदेव ( राम पीर ) जी के आगे खड़ी है और सब उनके आगे हाथ जोड़े खड़े हैं | महिला के चेहरे पर बेहोशी जैसे हाव भाव थे | तब मुझे समझ मैं आ गया की माजरा क्या है | बस यहीं .......यहीं आकर मेरा आस्था से टकराव शुरू हो जाता है | यहीं मुझे आस्था पर एक सवाल खड़ा करना पड़ जाता है की क्या है यह????? कोई ऐसा कैसे कर सकता है ( ऐसा कैसे हो सकता है सवाल पूछने का कोई मतलब नही है) क्या सच मैं भगवान् को हमारे शरीर मैं आने की आवश्यकता है ? और अगर वह किसी इंसान के शरीर मैं आते भी हैं तो क्या फायदा होगा इस से ? लेकिन यह सब सवाल मेरे ही दिमाग में घूम रहे थे | सब को उनमें भगवान् दिख रहे थे जो उनके दुखों को दूर करने के लिए ही वहां आए हैं |

कुछ देर के लिए तो लगा की में यह सब नहीं कर सकता!!!!! फ़िर एक हाथ ने मुझे पीछे से आगे की ओर धकेला ......मेरी मम्मी थीं वोह | बेटा आगे जा और मांग ले जो माँगना है | बोल के मुझे अच्छे नुम्बरों से पास करदो | मैं आगे बढ़ा और झुक गया उनके पैर चूने के लिए | इसीलिए नहीं की मुझे विश्वास हो गया था उन पर पर इस लिए की मुझे अपनी माँ की आस्था पर विश्वास था | मैं उनकी आस्था के आदर के लिए झुका | माँ का dइल तो बच्चे की भलाई ही चाहेगा ना |

मैं झुक तो गया पर यह सवाल मेरे मन् मैं हमेशा से थे | कुछ चीज़ें हैं जिनका मतलब आप शायद नहीं समझ सकते| और अगर समझ जाते हैं तो वोह चीज़ें आस्था से परे हो जाती हैं |


ps : Its been really nice writing in hindi but I guess it will take some time in making my hindi look like a disciplined writer. Comments are invited both on the post and the ability of writing in Hindi!!!! :)) :))

Dance of Democracy!!!!!

The days of opportunism, greed and conspiracy have come.....the season of Elections!!!! Things are going to become messy here. Exchange of words and expressions is going to increase among the members of Indian Polity. The members of Media call it a Dance of Democracy and I Say Yes!!! if Democracy was supposed to do something in this period of time then surely it would be Dance. The war of Ideologies, Opinions and Choices will show us which one wins the throne. But in the end.....does it matters who wins? Will we be able to makeout the difference between loosers and winners. I have always had this question in my mind. In such a varied and multi cultured country like India will it make any difference which ideology wins or which opinion matters. Whether its a five fingered hand aur five petaled Lotus aur a four legged elephant is there any difference. In the end there will be scandals, scams, terrorist attacks and other disasters in our country. There will be development and progress in the country. I believe Indian development and progress will never hamper to any great extent when it comes to relying on govermental policies. All these years governments have come and gone.....can anybody makeout a clear difference between governance of one party and the other. Whether the button is pressed on any symbol the situations, problems and matters will remain same and will only sieze to exist when its time. This Dance of Democracy is mere a change in flavour of the icecream which are supposed to enjoy every now and then.

Its Only Words!!

Words they are very powerful. They allow us human beings to express ourselves. They make us explain how we feel, what do we want, what are we doing ...and many other gestures. Words they are the grains of the crop of our thoughts (Random Thoughts in some cases ;)).

Words have meanings and conversely meanings have words. Its all vice versa. As I said they allow us to express our thoughts and as we know thoughts can be many , so we've got many words to express those thoughts. Some words express fear, like failing in exams, getting hurt, etc These words express that we are of afraid of some things.

Some words express joy, fun like chal party karte hain :D, hey!! guys lets go to a movie and some end that joy, that fun chale padhle padhle kal exam hain, I don't go to theatres to see hindi movies :D:D

Few words mean searching Yaar!! aj dental college ki chutti hai kya (Where are all the girls of Dental Colleg;)!!) or sometimes genuinely speaking searching means Google. We many times need to find things around and these words really help us don't they?? ;)

Some words make us realize Friendship Chot Group and some make us forget it Misunderstandings. Some show real Care like, Take Very Good Care of Yourself and some carelessness GetLost!!

Some words bring a smile on your face like, mere pass paise nahi rupaiye hain and some make you burst into laughter (Haan Aisa hi Hoon Mein!!). Some bring anger to mind Micro Electronics and Micro Processor and some completely take that away chod na yaar chalta hai.

We've also got words for naughtiness like oye hoe ye ganne de khet which tamator kitho (or An*** and D*****) . We can also get words for memories like College Days, Bunking, Canteen,etc.

Needless to say about words for Love like I love you, or you're a darling ;) and how can can we forget about the words which bring flat faces like me saying I am cool or I am superman.

Some are abusive words K****, K*****, H********, etc and some show frustration s*** a** hai yaar yeh to. Some like Zindagi hi Jhand hai or Jivan hi Vyarth hai when we are fed up of things and life around us.

So Its only words isn't it?? Its these words only that made you read untill this line and created many other random thoughts in your minds.